Many people think my life is a bed of roses. Many tell me how they wish they had my life and how blessed I am compared to others. Indeed I am grateful for all of these. But really, one cannot compare someone with another without common grounds. In any case, my life is NOT a bed of roses if you know all there is to know about me.
There are some things about me that truly saddens me and that I struggle with. I cannot divulge much detail here, but I will say that the worse times of my day are before I sleep, and when I wake up. Every time I cover myself with my blanket, a blanket of sadness envelopes me and a great emptiness fills me within. There are even times when I suddenly cry myself to sleep for absolutely no reason. And when I wake in the morning I feel just as bad - as if I did not get any sleep at all. I feel like I wake up on a slab of ice with bricks piled on top of my chest. I tell myself every night and day, "If only, if only... ...", while stealing away to a place where my hopes and dreams come true, but tragically knowing that my actions do not soften the pain and ache I feel when reality sets back in. It is truly painful... ...
Having said all that, maybe one reason why I feel as such is because I keep on hoping for a future that seems so impossible and hard to attain. Yet something inside of me tells me that my dreams, though so impossible right now, will not be in vain. I have to keep on hoping; keep on believing; and keep on dreaming. As Cinderella said, "A dream is a wish your heart makes...". So my dreams are then an expression of my heart's deepest desires, and if I continue to hope and dream for this future, then maybe, just maybe it will come true.
And so I will resolve to dream; telling myself that this wish I make now upon a star is coming true. My heart knows this. One day the colors of the wind will lead my heart to a whole new world with you... ...
There are some things about me that truly saddens me and that I struggle with. I cannot divulge much detail here, but I will say that the worse times of my day are before I sleep, and when I wake up. Every time I cover myself with my blanket, a blanket of sadness envelopes me and a great emptiness fills me within. There are even times when I suddenly cry myself to sleep for absolutely no reason. And when I wake in the morning I feel just as bad - as if I did not get any sleep at all. I feel like I wake up on a slab of ice with bricks piled on top of my chest. I tell myself every night and day, "If only, if only... ...", while stealing away to a place where my hopes and dreams come true, but tragically knowing that my actions do not soften the pain and ache I feel when reality sets back in. It is truly painful... ...
Having said all that, maybe one reason why I feel as such is because I keep on hoping for a future that seems so impossible and hard to attain. Yet something inside of me tells me that my dreams, though so impossible right now, will not be in vain. I have to keep on hoping; keep on believing; and keep on dreaming. As Cinderella said, "A dream is a wish your heart makes...". So my dreams are then an expression of my heart's deepest desires, and if I continue to hope and dream for this future, then maybe, just maybe it will come true.
And so I will resolve to dream; telling myself that this wish I make now upon a star is coming true. My heart knows this. One day the colors of the wind will lead my heart to a whole new world with you... ...
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